Everyone wants to be a high achiever! All of us want to get ahead in life but there is a piece of it that is only known to those who have walked those lonely roads. Along the way to high achieving status friends and family no longer "get" us the way they used to - after all its not them - its US! Then we feel like snobs for even thinking that way!
That loneliness is so deep that we cry in the bathtub while sipping on our liquid companion. This was suppose to make us happy! This should be a good thing! Yet the last thing we feel is happy. We feel anxious, guilty, and even taken advantage of but happy is not in the emotional repertoire.
The price of being miles ahead of everyone we know is enormous. Then when you finally "make it" you become their ATM machine, you start resenting them and even worse resenting your prosperity. It was easier before - you were happier before and you weren't so lonely before.
The downside is that once you expand you can no longer fit into that old mold. You have become a new and better version of yourself and the person you became attracted more opportunities, resources and money to you!
Be your best friend, be your best partner, stop compromising and start loving yourself unconditionally - it will just be a matter of time for the world to catch up and start loving you that way too! And all that extra money will just be a nice bonus!
We are safe from the bomb cyclone that came through Colorado and even though my husband got stuck in a major highway he came home unharmed. That got me thinking about all of those people that were on their way to work and did not have a choice but put themselves in harms way to make ends meet financially. That is the what money does - money gives us options and stability. It gives us power to say NO when we need to.
And that is my purpose to get as many people as possible to have the power to say NO or HECK YEAH to opportunities presented to do. Give them the power to control their money instead of being controlled by it. And this is why I am giving a FREE monthlong masterclass with a whole week of implementation!
When coming up with the content of this masterclass and workbook I thought about how much money impacts every part of our lives and as soon as we get everything else organized money just becomes an automated task like typing in your password - it's almost second nature!
Download the workbook on "Raising Businesses and Babies"! and come join us in the Moms in Biz: Rock Your Money Game facebook group where we will have a live training in the month of April about going from "Survival to Success" as a working mom!
And tell me, what would you like to say HECK YEAH to?
Have you ever worked in a place where there was an open door policy but when push comes to shove there was nothing opened about that policy at all?
Have you ever been reprimanded or your privileges taken away because of something that was completely out of control?
I have and it was NOT fun at all.
Before we go any further just know that I’m a mom just like you who makes mistakes daily and just tries very hard to get my kids to eat their veggies and be kind
I was asked a few times this week about my take on momo. My response is simple - we have an open door policy.
I told them what was going on with YouTube and KidsTube and explained to them that the world is an amazing place full of amazing people and there are some people who are not very amazing (aka bad guys) that wanted kids to hurt themselves.
I told them that I trusted them enough to know that if something isn’t right they need to come to me and show me so we can be part of a solution (reporting it).
I did not take it away from them because I can’t take them away from the world. I wish I could.
I don’t want my kids to ever be victimized and I believe in their capacity to be empowered through all the experiences that we go through.
It would not be fair for me to take away something they enjoy because of something completely out of their control.
It would have been an open door policy gone wrong.
So we remain watching electronics for 90 minutes a day because we still believe that the world is indeed a beautiful place.
If you are a mom who felt in your heart to take it away, all the power to you! You know more than anyone else what is BEST for your family!
When you are in need of something serious done you look for a specialist in that one area - and that is why specialists cost more - they have invested time and money in their specialty and are there to offer you a result, not a treatment.
My business coach challenged me to become a specialist, an expert, honestly I think she saw the expert in me long before I did and her job was to coach that out of me!
I am a specialist, an expert per se, of helping women in business; challenging them to their next level. I absolutely love working with business women. I have always been a girls' girl. I truly don't get the cattiness, the fake or lack of lack of trust that all of that estrogen can bring. I love supporting other women and being part of their journey.
And if I am being honest here not a lot of men wants a woman telling him what to do, especially when it comes to money (my specialty)! As women in business we have different sets of challenges than our male counterparts. We are raising babies and businesses at the same time. We wear our emotions in our sleeves having a hard time making choices between our feelings and our profits.
I have coached women, men, couples and even children (through their moms) but my rock star clients are all women! They are women in business doing amazing things but somehow feel stuck, financially strapped, craving more from life and from themselves too! They are tired of running in circles and are ready to live a more purposeful life!
So now, I help women in business level up, make and keep more money, and become the powerhouse they are meant to be!
Come join me!
Moms in Biz: Rocking Your Money Game FB group:
Also I crated a little video talking about my new direction:
One of my New Year's resolutions or evolution as I have renamed it is to live more with less! I have found that when I have less I truthfully live more! A few years ago when I had to pack my 4 bedroom house in a 20 x 20 truck I realized how much excess we had as a family. Then moving into a smaller house with less things gave me so much freedom.
Thinking back I was "slaved" to my things. That big house took forever to clean and all of those clothes took forever to wash and the pile of 20 plates and 50 cups did not wash itself or got themselves to the dishwasher/cabinets without some help. So many weekends I spent cleaning and cooking to have a less chaotic week. So many times I said no to people, events, opportunities because I needed to get my stuff in order!
This year my word is "selfish" which is not a bad thing I have learned. This is the year that I will put myself first in all areas of my life. This is the year that my happiness will come from living simply. This year I will de-clutter the house, my business, my circle of friends and most of all my heart.
I have let go of all of the things that no longer serve me to create a "transformational" (Just made up that word) space in and out of my physical space. One of the first things that I did was to say NO and know in my heart that no explanation is necessary. No, I don't feel like it and that is the end of that. I don't have to have a mysterious illness or pretend to be busy. The people worth keeping in my circle understand it very well and the ones that don't I am happy to see them go and grow.
Lots of clients tell me that they want to put their house in order but are emotionally unable to do so. My response is one that I live by: "When our outside is organized the clutter inside of us tend to organize itself". If you feel emotionally unable to organize make yourself do it anyways. Do the flylady method which is 15 minutes at a time (her motto is you can do anything for 15 minutes - check her out at www.flylady.net) or do the KonMari method which is by category (clothes, books, paper, miscellaneous and sentimental - check out her documentary on Netflix - Tidying up with Marie Kondo ) but do it!
You deserve to have the best life -
And the lightest one too!
A new year and a new resolution!!!
This year my only resolution is to be SELFISH! Yes, you read that right...I struggled with my word for 2019 and even though inspiring, growth, focused, and intentional sounded trendy and way cuter I want to be selfish - no I crave being SELFISH!!!
While asking God for a sign that I could and should be selfish this year I came across Matthew 5:16 which says "let your light shine before others..." which to me it was His permission for me to be selfish and put myself first!
Here are 5 tips on how you can do that too:
1. Change your mindset - instead of blaming yourself for all of the things that you have done wrong or not accomplished tap yourself on that back for all of the things that you have done right, the things that you are proud of and the things you have overcome.
2. Get an accountability partner - this person needs to be someone out of your circle of love. It needs to be that one friend that has no filter between brain and mouth and will care more about your results than your feelings!
3. Plan, Plan, Plan - if you fail to plan you plan to fail! Put yourself in your calendar and make a plan of action for your goals.
5. Prioritize - put yourself first, pay yourself first, feed yourself first, reach for your dreams first and give yourself permission to come before everyone and everything else!
You are not the same person that started 2018 - all of your obstacles, trials and tribulations that lead you to become the person that will rock 2019!
You are not the same person that started 2018 - all of your obstacles, trials and tribulations that lead you to become the person that will rock 2019!
You are not the same person that started 2018, all of your obstacles, trials and tribulations have made you the person that will absolutely rock in 2019!
And I will be right here, cheering you on!
Watch the facebook live here!
Here are the 7 things I have learned about forgiveness:
The truth about forgiveness is that is sucks. Plain and simple. Someone has hurt you badly enough that can almost feel like they squeezed your heart with their bare hands and stopped squeezing just so you could live and suffer through it.
A few years ago someone I loved hurt me badly. Very badly. Not only did he hurt me but he also hurt other people that I love. And couple of weeks ago I actually forgave him. Not half-ass forgiveness. Like really, really forgave him. It felt so good and so freeing. Just to turn around and have someone else very close to me hurt me again. My conversation with God went something like this "Are you serious? I just graduated this lesson I don't need to practice this on a weekly basis!"
What I learned about forgiveness is that - it's not all about you! As hard it is to believe that person have their own reasoning for doing what they did. It doesn't make sense - and the more you try to make sense of it the more it is going to hurt - but just know that it has nothing to do a with you.
And then again it's ALL ABOUT YOU! Forgiveness is all about the way you deal with it and it has nothing to do with how sorry they are or that they will never do this again. It is about YOU and YOU alone!
The longer you wait the harder it gets! The more time it passes the more we internalize things and we just add more fuel to the fire. Every little thing that happens we will be adding to the first problem and forgiving just becomes harder.
It involves being vulnerable and vulnerability is never fun. It makes us feel weak and exposed but vulnerability is a major place of growth. Growing pains are real in the physical and emotional whelm.
Forgiving is not forgetting the bible talks about forgiving but it doesn't ask us to forget. A lot of people have the misconception that unless they can forget they cannot forgive and that is not true. You might never forget what happened but you can react and regain the power.
Forgiveness makes you let go of all of your expectations. You forgive to just forgive and let go of the chains of your past without any expectation! After all expectations leads to disappointment!
Click here to watch my coffee chat about forgiveness.
I have recently realized that I am a big contributor of the make believe Pinterest Perfect Life and I vow to stop it - like NOW!
You see, we went to the mountains over the thanksgiving holiday and I posted the most beautiful pictures. They were definitely Pinterest Perfect! What I didn't post was that my car was absolutely trashed because I am a #mom of 2 and since I was going to pick up my dad at the airport and this is his first time visiting us since we moved to Colorado - I decided to go to the car wash. Well, while I am IN THE CAR WASH like in the tunnel with all of those brushes and water I realized the car in front of me wasn't moving. As much as I slammed on my breaks my car was in neutral and in the belt so it didn't make a difference. I kept honking my horn and screaming for help while my kids were also screaming in the background and my car slammed the car in front of me and soon as I thought that was the worst of it all I also got hit from behind! But no... you didn't see any of that in my social media!
Then the next day while going down one of the steepest hills in Cripple Creek, CO I noticed the tire was making a funny sound. Mind you, I am absolutely terrified of driving in the mountains specially in the snow. All I think about was that it could possibly be my lucky day and I could meet Jesus way before my plan. Yes, I am that scared! So getting a flat tire in a semi-blister conditions while going down a steep hill is not what I planned on doing on Thanksgiving. Not by a long shot! But then again, you didn't see any of this in my social media - what I actually posted was a bunch of pictures perfectly taken after maybe 500 tries that everyone looked decent and I looked semi-pretty! LOL
Then it dawned on me that everyone is tired of the Pinterest Perfect! The best adventures, the best people and the craziest stories comes from the Pinterest fails! Like, when I baked my daughters first birthday cake that I thought I was Martha Stewart and when I was icing it an hour before the actual birthday party it fell on the floor and my quick thinking (or lack of) put the cake back on the stand and served to all of the guests! Don't worry though - that was the end of me making any cakes.
From now on I will post the real stuff - from my best angles - but still real stuff!
Click here to the facebook live!
Self love is all the talk these days. I am going to give you 5 steps to really embark on said self love journey.
I once walked away from a marriage that wasn’t good for me. I slept in my car because I decided that even if I didn’t love myself or the person that I became at that point I needed to respect myself enough to walk away from what was toxic.
5) Self Love - Do you love yourself enough to be happy just the way you are? Do you love yourself enough to care for yourself? Do you love yourself enough to go to the doctor, to do the things that will make you happier?
I saw a video recently of a psychologist saying that you cannot love without respect and admiration. And I believe that to be the absolute truth. So even if you don’t love yourself just yet - start respecting and admiring yourself and soon enough you will!
You can watch my journey to self-love here!
You have goals. You have amazing goals. But you also have a life that seems not to care about your goals - and many times - derail you from it!
Goal setting is so important. Goals are what take us forward in life; they are the oxygen to our dreams.
But the struggle is real. Life doesn’t care that you have a deadline and your plans depend on it to keep the struggles away. You may feel deflated that your goals keep taking a backseat because of your struggle.
You might be struggling with your business
Most people have a hard time setting goals due to:
HOW TO SET GOALS?
If your goal is to make $50k then your quarterly goal is to make $12,500 per quarter which is $3,125 per month.
Also realize that your goals move with you. Always increase at least 10% of your past achievement for your next goal but I dont usually recommend going over 25% - you dont want to set your goals so high that makes them unachievable.
2. FOCUS: List all of your goals on a piece of paper. Now list the things that you will sacrifice in order to achieve those goals. Will you sacrifice your Saturday mornings? Will you sacrifice sleep by getting up an hour earlier? Will you sacrifice a shopping spree to be able to invest in yourself?
Focus is not the target - is everything we say no to in order to get there!
3. Lack of priority (everything is equally important) Everything is important and that is just how it goes. Specially for women because we are so emotionally attached to the outcome that everything has equal importance and we become jack of all trades master of none. After you write down all of your goals write a number by each one of those goals as an order of importance. What is most important? What is that one goal that will impact a bunch of little goals?
Your goal might not be business related but have results in your productivity. Getting the house organized and working out everyday will not get you direct monetary results but it will increase your productivity and therefore increase your bottom line.
4. Consistency (you are not consistent with your goals) In order to get consistent with goal setting you need to break them down even further than monthly. Lets use the $50K a year example is $961.53 ($50K /52 weeks) per week which is $137.36 per day. What daily steps do you need to follow in order to sell $138 dollar daily? Create a daily check list and put somewhere visible and don’t go to bed until it’s done. SIMPLE. But simple does not make it easy. Thinking of what you need to do occupies more emotional space than actually doing them. How many times have you done things that you have been putting off because of how long its going to take - only to get it done in a fraction of the time?
Do a little inner awareness exercise and ask yourself: are you avoiding getting this done because of self sabotage or because of procrastination? Self-sabotage is the fear of failure. Procrastination is due to working better on a deadline because you know it will get done. Both of those have the same consequences; lack of consistency, stress, etc but they steam from different places. Consistency will beat both of these challenges by setting systems in place to get things done, even when you have a headache, a sick child or just don’t feel like it.
5. Accountability (who is really checking on those goals?) You need an accountability partner - but this person cannot be a spouse or a friend - this person has to care more about your success than your feelings. This is one of the main reasons I started coaching clients on their businesses and became a vision to action coach. Who is that person that is so invested in your vision to make it into action? All of us have challenges, but those challenges is what is going to give you grit to get to your end result. Those challenges are the distraction to your destination. They can be a delay or a detour but not a PLAN B.
Sign up for a mastermind group, get in touch with a someone in your industry and meet once a week to establish your goals. We are entrepreneurs because we don’t want anyone to answer to - but this blessing can also be a curse because we do need accountability! So sign up for that mastermind, meet with that friend, or hire that coach to get you to the next level!!!
I love sharing many of my beliefs, thoughts and at times unpopular opinions.