Self love is all the talk these days. I am going to give you 5 steps to really embark on said self love journey.
I once walked away from a marriage that wasn’t good for me. I slept in my car because I decided that even if I didn’t love myself or the person that I became at that point I needed to respect myself enough to walk away from what was toxic.
5) Self Love - Do you love yourself enough to be happy just the way you are? Do you love yourself enough to care for yourself? Do you love yourself enough to go to the doctor, to do the things that will make you happier?
I saw a video recently of a psychologist saying that you cannot love without respect and admiration. And I believe that to be the absolute truth. So even if you don’t love yourself just yet - start respecting and admiring yourself and soon enough you will!
You can watch my journey to self-love here!
You have goals. You have amazing goals. But you also have a life that seems not to care about your goals - and many times - derail you from it!
Goal setting is so important. Goals are what take us forward in life; they are the oxygen to our dreams.
But the struggle is real. Life doesn’t care that you have a deadline and your plans depend on it to keep the struggles away. You may feel deflated that your goals keep taking a backseat because of your struggle.
You might be struggling with your business
Most people have a hard time setting goals due to:
HOW TO SET GOALS?
If your goal is to make $50k then your quarterly goal is to make $12,500 per quarter which is $3,125 per month.
Also realize that your goals move with you. Always increase at least 10% of your past achievement for your next goal but I dont usually recommend going over 25% - you dont want to set your goals so high that makes them unachievable.
2. FOCUS: List all of your goals on a piece of paper. Now list the things that you will sacrifice in order to achieve those goals. Will you sacrifice your Saturday mornings? Will you sacrifice sleep by getting up an hour earlier? Will you sacrifice a shopping spree to be able to invest in yourself?
Focus is not the target - is everything we say no to in order to get there!
3. Lack of priority (everything is equally important) Everything is important and that is just how it goes. Specially for women because we are so emotionally attached to the outcome that everything has equal importance and we become jack of all trades master of none. After you write down all of your goals write a number by each one of those goals as an order of importance. What is most important? What is that one goal that will impact a bunch of little goals?
Your goal might not be business related but have results in your productivity. Getting the house organized and working out everyday will not get you direct monetary results but it will increase your productivity and therefore increase your bottom line.
4. Consistency (you are not consistent with your goals) In order to get consistent with goal setting you need to break them down even further than monthly. Lets use the $50K a year example is $961.53 ($50K /52 weeks) per week which is $137.36 per day. What daily steps do you need to follow in order to sell $138 dollar daily? Create a daily check list and put somewhere visible and don’t go to bed until it’s done. SIMPLE. But simple does not make it easy. Thinking of what you need to do occupies more emotional space than actually doing them. How many times have you done things that you have been putting off because of how long its going to take - only to get it done in a fraction of the time?
Do a little inner awareness exercise and ask yourself: are you avoiding getting this done because of self sabotage or because of procrastination? Self-sabotage is the fear of failure. Procrastination is due to working better on a deadline because you know it will get done. Both of those have the same consequences; lack of consistency, stress, etc but they steam from different places. Consistency will beat both of these challenges by setting systems in place to get things done, even when you have a headache, a sick child or just don’t feel like it.
5. Accountability (who is really checking on those goals?) You need an accountability partner - but this person cannot be a spouse or a friend - this person has to care more about your success than your feelings. This is one of the main reasons I started coaching clients on their businesses and became a vision to action coach. Who is that person that is so invested in your vision to make it into action? All of us have challenges, but those challenges is what is going to give you grit to get to your end result. Those challenges are the distraction to your destination. They can be a delay or a detour but not a PLAN B.
Sign up for a mastermind group, get in touch with a someone in your industry and meet once a week to establish your goals. We are entrepreneurs because we don’t want anyone to answer to - but this blessing can also be a curse because we do need accountability! So sign up for that mastermind, meet with that friend, or hire that coach to get you to the next level!!!
You might think that the price of living a life that is not authentic to you equals the price tag of the latest fashion, the new car, the fancy neighborhood or the over all costs of keeping up with the Joneses.
That is one side of the cost but it goes beyond the actual money balance. The true price of not living an authentic life is UNFULFILLMENT! Social pressure to have this image and to live a Pinterest perfect life in incredible. What a lot of us don't talk about is that we are not very happy living the said "dream". There are many living in the perfect house, having the perfect career or the perfect marriage but feeling so lonely and wishing the imperfect happiness they once had. That feeling that someone is missing - that they are not enough. Almost guilty for wanting more.
While chasing perfection we become completely restless always chasing the next best thing - and never being still long enough to enjoy where we are! Truthfully there will always be someone who is prettier, happier, healthier and wealthier so the importance to live an authentic life to YOU and let go of your image, let go of what everyone else thinks of you and their standards and start living a imperfectly fulfilled life!
If you needed a sign - this is it! Chase the feeling, the joy, the happiness and not the things! And always, be you! After all, everyone else is taken!
Sunday was one of those days for me.
Everyone was so excited to gain an hour of sleep and I was here wondering when bed time would come because I was over it.
It all started with my husband leaving for work on Friday night and what was suppose to be a 2 day job turned into 3 and he wasn't back until Monday night. The kids didn't want to go anywhere since we have been traveling so much. We have gone to Vail, CO, Mt. Rushmore, SD and Breckenridge, CO in a month (I know, who would complain about travelling? Ahhhh kids - insert eye roll).
So Friday night I am not feeling too hot. Sinus headache, migraine, sore throat and the works. Adding the whole lone ranger thing and my son refusal to get a hair cut by a professional so I had to take matters in my own hands. He was started to look like a homeless hippie. Clippers and bathtub combined with a boy that has lots and lots of beautiful thick hair and a daughter that is only 7 but things she is his personal stylist commenting on every single angle of his hair cut, things were about to take an ugly turn. The witch came out.
I was tired, I was cranky, I was hungry and just annoyed to deal with all the nonsense. You know those days that you take a good look of yourself and you feel ashamed of the way you are acting - well this was one of my days.
Everyone has bad days. We all do. Even the girl that you think she has all of her ducks in a row - she has bad days too. Life just happens in cycles and some of those cycles are not fun - at all.
But ending the day on a bad note is a choice.
I took my little ducks, cleaned up the tub, and called out for a family meeting. We seated across from each other and each said 2 things that the others could do better on. They are 7 and 8 and they told me exactly what I could do much much better on.
I had a choice, I stopped the cycle. I chose joy! I hope you will too!
Why am I doing all the right things and life is getting worse instead of better?
Because there is a always a breakdown before your breakthrough.
You know the feeling, you are working on your marriage and it seems that even the smallest things is a reason for an explosive fight. Or you are working on your business and it seems that the little money you had coming in is now going to unexpected expenses. Even at your job, you are doing all the right things and yet somehow you always get the short stick.
Now, it is NOT the time to give up.
It is time to fine tune your plan.
Every time you develop yourself into your full potential you will be tested. You will be tested within yourself and within your circumstances and that is when most of us just say "forget it" and go back to the same old habits that we were trying to change.
Those set backs are there to prepare you for your come back!
Don't let this test be a distraction to your final destination - this is just your breakdown to fine tune your plans to reach your breakthrough!
I love sharing many of my beliefs, thoughts and at times unpopular opinions.