Here are the 7 things I have learned about forgiveness:
The truth about forgiveness is that is sucks. Plain and simple. Someone has hurt you badly enough that can almost feel like they squeezed your heart with their bare hands and stopped squeezing just so you could live and suffer through it.
A few years ago someone I loved hurt me badly. Very badly. Not only did he hurt me but he also hurt other people that I love. And couple of weeks ago I actually forgave him. Not half-ass forgiveness. Like really, really forgave him. It felt so good and so freeing. Just to turn around and have someone else very close to me hurt me again. My conversation with God went something like this "Are you serious? I just graduated this lesson I don't need to practice this on a weekly basis!"
What I learned about forgiveness is that - it's not all about you! As hard it is to believe that person have their own reasoning for doing what they did. It doesn't make sense - and the more you try to make sense of it the more it is going to hurt - but just know that it has nothing to do a with you.
And then again it's ALL ABOUT YOU! Forgiveness is all about the way you deal with it and it has nothing to do with how sorry they are or that they will never do this again. It is about YOU and YOU alone!
The longer you wait the harder it gets! The more time it passes the more we internalize things and we just add more fuel to the fire. Every little thing that happens we will be adding to the first problem and forgiving just becomes harder.
It involves being vulnerable and vulnerability is never fun. It makes us feel weak and exposed but vulnerability is a major place of growth. Growing pains are real in the physical and emotional whelm.
Forgiving is not forgetting the bible talks about forgiving but it doesn't ask us to forget. A lot of people have the misconception that unless they can forget they cannot forgive and that is not true. You might never forget what happened but you can react and regain the power.
Forgiveness makes you let go of all of your expectations. You forgive to just forgive and let go of the chains of your past without any expectation! After all expectations leads to disappointment!
Click here to watch my coffee chat about forgiveness.
I have recently realized that I am a big contributor of the make believe Pinterest Perfect Life and I vow to stop it - like NOW!
You see, we went to the mountains over the thanksgiving holiday and I posted the most beautiful pictures. They were definitely Pinterest Perfect! What I didn't post was that my car was absolutely trashed because I am a #mom of 2 and since I was going to pick up my dad at the airport and this is his first time visiting us since we moved to Colorado - I decided to go to the car wash. Well, while I am IN THE CAR WASH like in the tunnel with all of those brushes and water I realized the car in front of me wasn't moving. As much as I slammed on my breaks my car was in neutral and in the belt so it didn't make a difference. I kept honking my horn and screaming for help while my kids were also screaming in the background and my car slammed the car in front of me and soon as I thought that was the worst of it all I also got hit from behind! But no... you didn't see any of that in my social media!
Then the next day while going down one of the steepest hills in Cripple Creek, CO I noticed the tire was making a funny sound. Mind you, I am absolutely terrified of driving in the mountains specially in the snow. All I think about was that it could possibly be my lucky day and I could meet Jesus way before my plan. Yes, I am that scared! So getting a flat tire in a semi-blister conditions while going down a steep hill is not what I planned on doing on Thanksgiving. Not by a long shot! But then again, you didn't see any of this in my social media - what I actually posted was a bunch of pictures perfectly taken after maybe 500 tries that everyone looked decent and I looked semi-pretty! LOL
Then it dawned on me that everyone is tired of the Pinterest Perfect! The best adventures, the best people and the craziest stories comes from the Pinterest fails! Like, when I baked my daughters first birthday cake that I thought I was Martha Stewart and when I was icing it an hour before the actual birthday party it fell on the floor and my quick thinking (or lack of) put the cake back on the stand and served to all of the guests! Don't worry though - that was the end of me making any cakes.
From now on I will post the real stuff - from my best angles - but still real stuff!
Click here to the facebook live!
I love sharing many of my beliefs, thoughts and at times unpopular opinions.