This is going to be a different kind of encouragement that I usually do.
My message is mostly you can have it all - just not all at the same time (when it comes to money) but as of late I am seeing more and more clients who are living life way below their highest calling because they are trying to be all things to everyone.
As women we are nurturing in nature which can lead to us being lost in our roles as wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter, entrepreneur....and what is the name of the role for ourselves??? ME!!! Being us feels inadequate even selfish. We make time for everyone but when we finally have time for ourselves we don't even know what to do with it.
Many women who are also high achievers go through what is called as cross generation coalition which happens when there is role reversal in our lives. Basically when we try to mother our parents, grandparents or even perform at a higher capacity than the pay scale that we were originally hired for without the reward and once we wake up gasping for air we feel as it though it has become the expectation from us.
The truth of the matter is that this expectation was created by you. You have not taught people how to treat you. Most importantly you have NOT shown them how to treat you which is just a matter of time before you start to feel resentful, lonely, sad, trapped, broke and even sick.
The only way to really change this situation is to stop trying to be superwoman. Being superwoman is not the way to level up. Vulnerability is the only way to reach your next level. Being vulnerable with those around you and having those tough conversations that this is not what you want out of life and stepping into those roles is capping out your emotional and physical bandwidth. Then give it time for everyone to get accustomed to the new version of you and the new version of themselves too!
Stop, say NO (NO is a complete sentence), let go, and get vulnerable!
And if I can help you trade in your cape for self fulfillment - just reach out!
Watch the FB live I did on this here!
Today the kids were taking their sweet time getting ready and somehow even though they woke up late we made it right on time. We got everything that normally takes us one hour done in under 30 minutes - breakfast included.
There have been times where I have stayed so busy and still did not get much done. There have also been times that I was productive yet did not feel busy at all. According to the book 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins (which I love and recommend to all of my clients), this phenomenon is called Parkinson's Law which basically states that "work expands to fill the amount of time given to it" or in my words it will take as long as you allow it to take.
Some of us keep busy to avoid doing the things that we no longer have the motivation to do. Here is the thing; you don't need motivation and somedays you won't have it but getting into the next level in any area of your life does not require motivation - required discipline. Doing the thing you said you were going to do long after you feel like it.
Here are a couple of tips for being productive and efficient instead of busy:
1. Have a hard stop quitting time (this will make you use your time smarter)
2. Have a "NO" work allowed day (for me is Sundays)
3. Manage your distractions (it is impossible to prevent them but managing them is a must)
4. Work out (it is extremely important to get your body moving to get your mind sharp)
5. Sleep hygiene (sleeping better makes your body better which makes your brain better)
6. Putting shoes on (having shoes on makes you 25% more productive according to a few studies on embodied cognition)
7. Create a 10-minute task list (a list of everything that takes you 10 minutes or less and tackle them when you have little breaks in your day)
Email me at email@example.com and let me know how these tips work out for you!
You are stuck not because you don’t know what to do next.
You are stuck because you are trying to pour from an empty cup.
You are exhausted from all of the decisions, choices and ideas on how making others lives easier.
No wonder you can’t even decide on dinner.
You spend all of your days “coaching” your team, family, friends and there is just not enough bandwidth left for your own projects, dreams or vision.
Then you start resenting everyone around you - you do so much for them - whey can’t they put you first for a change?
When you don’t put yourself first you create a pattern and “they” are simply emulating how you treat yourself.
When you don’t put yourself first you can’t expect anyone else to do it for you
And you can’t be mad at them for it either.
You started this mess!
You might have this wrong belief that putting yourself first is being “selfish” and being selfish is a bad thing.
Being selfish is only a bad thing for the people who benefited from you putting yourself last.
The world doesn’t benefit from you being the worst version of yourself.
No one does.
When you start putting yourself first everything will change.
When you start sleeping at a decent hour, eating decent meals, and working on your dreams your spark will be contagious.
Those who love you will beam from your happiness.
And they will start emulating the right behavior and work on themselves too!
There is nothing more empowering than watching someone chasing their dreams
When YOU decide that you are your best investment EVERYTHING changes!
Isn’t it time for a change?
If you are ready to change your business come join us in The Next Level Academy. We have not officially started but the breakthroughs have (we are next level like that ) If you know any service based entrepreneur do them a favor a forward this email to them! For only $47 per month, they will have weekly business coaching calls in an amazing community to help them soar in business! No long term commitment required!
Click here to join today!
If you got here my safe assumption is that you are feeling stuck, unmotivated, overwhelmed just going through the motions of life when life itself seems to have escaped you. Here are 5 tips to get you unstuck when it comes to your goals:
1. Listen to your body
There was a study done demonstrating that our bodies know that danger before our mind realizes what is going on. The same thing happens to love, anxiety and adrenaline. What is your body telling you about this thing (goal)? Are you stuck because you are afraid of success or afraid of failure? Are you stuck because you are looking for external validation?
2. Listen to your heart
What does your heart tell you about this thing (stuckness)? Is your heart not in it? Are you doing it to make money or do you honestly love to serve at this level? Are you doing this just to check off boxes or does it actually spark your light?
3. Step Away
Sometimes we are too emotionally attached to this project to see clearly so getting away from it for a little while and coming back to it can do the trick (even if you have to force it).
4. Step In
Ask a friend that doesn't care about your feelings or someone who loves you enough to tell you the truth for advice. This special friend needs to care more about your results than your feelings so it helps if its someone outside your circle of love. And relentless about it IF it's your passion.
5. Ask for Help
Ask for exactly what you want! Ask the children to do chores, the hubs to pick up dinner (on Tuesdays and Thursdays - you need to be precise), the neighbor to mow the lawn, the teenager next door to babysit! Ask for help - we have this sense of community within us that we love to step in and be someone's hero and at the same time we despise asking for help! The trick here when it comes to the people in your daily life is to ask for exactly what you need and no in general terms. Saying I need more help around here does NOT get your point across. A little script is " I need help with (insert precise help) so that I can (insert one step towards your goal)" Ex: " I need you to do dinner on Wednesdays so that I can work on my business during that time". It takes a village and no one benefits from you dragging this out!
Let me know if you feel stuck - I have been done and have gotten myself and many others out of this funk so that they could let go of frustration and take on step into your full potential!
Schedule your free discovery call today!
When we think of success, wealth and stability it all ties to money but it goes way beyond dollars and cents - wealth is who we become.
You can probably think of people who are just "lucky" no matter what and those who are very "unlucky" no matter how hard they try. The lucky or unlucky part has become part of their personality and its almost like they wouldn't be who they are if it wasn't for all of the luck or unlucky they attract.
When I completed my 100 hours of coaching for my certification I felt so proud. I was the first one in my class to complete the program (they don't let us graduate until we complete the test with 100% accuracy) so that was a big deal - but the icing on the cake is who I became. I became a person that coaches everyone around me when the opportunity arises and there are plenty of times that I get in trouble (my husband calls me out on this all the time ).
Recently I was part of marketing research and I love helping other women so I don't mind answering all of their marketing questions, but I did unintentionally add a twist to it. I started coaching the researcher and the next day I work up to this message:
So coaching is not what I do, coaching is who I have become (sorry hubs)!
On your own path to health and wealth who do you want to be? Do you want to be someone known for their generosity and grace? Do you want to be the one known as the trailblazer? Do you want to be someone that has left a legacy way beyond your own lifetime?
I know I do! I want to be able to change people's lives - not only through coaching but also through giving!
It all starts with a decision! Just one decision that needs to be repeated day in and day out! You are one decision away from a completely different life!
Everyone wants to be a high achiever! All of us want to get ahead in life but there is a piece of it that is only known to those who have walked those lonely roads. Along the way to high achieving status friends and family no longer "get" us the way they used to - after all its not them - its US! Then we feel like snobs for even thinking that way!
That loneliness is so deep that we cry in the bathtub while sipping on our liquid companion. This was suppose to make us happy! This should be a good thing! Yet the last thing we feel is happy. We feel anxious, guilty, and even taken advantage of but happy is not in the emotional repertoire.
The price of being miles ahead of everyone we know is enormous. Then when you finally "make it" you become their ATM machine, you start resenting them and even worse resenting your prosperity. It was easier before - you were happier before and you weren't so lonely before.
The downside is that once you expand you can no longer fit into that old mold. You have become a new and better version of yourself and the person you became attracted more opportunities, resources and money to you!
Be your best friend, be your best partner, stop compromising and start loving yourself unconditionally - it will just be a matter of time for the world to catch up and start loving you that way too! And all that extra money will just be a nice bonus!
We are safe from the bomb cyclone that came through Colorado and even though my husband got stuck in a major highway he came home unharmed. That got me thinking about all of those people that were on their way to work and did not have a choice but put themselves in harms way to make ends meet financially. That is the what money does - money gives us options and stability. It gives us power to say NO when we need to.
And that is my purpose to get as many people as possible to have the power to say NO or HECK YEAH to opportunities presented to do. Give them the power to control their money instead of being controlled by it. And this is why I am giving a FREE monthlong masterclass with a whole week of implementation!
When coming up with the content of this masterclass and workbook I thought about how much money impacts every part of our lives and as soon as we get everything else organized money just becomes an automated task like typing in your password - it's almost second nature!
Download the workbook on "Raising Businesses and Babies"! and come join us in the Moms in Biz: Rock Your Money Game facebook group where we will have a live training in the month of April about going from "Survival to Success" as a working mom!
And tell me, what would you like to say HECK YEAH to?
Have you ever worked in a place where there was an open door policy but when push comes to shove there was nothing opened about that policy at all?
Have you ever been reprimanded or your privileges taken away because of something that was completely out of control?
I have and it was NOT fun at all.
Before we go any further just know that I’m a mom just like you who makes mistakes daily and just tries very hard to get my kids to eat their veggies and be kind
I was asked a few times this week about my take on momo. My response is simple - we have an open door policy.
I told them what was going on with YouTube and KidsTube and explained to them that the world is an amazing place full of amazing people and there are some people who are not very amazing (aka bad guys) that wanted kids to hurt themselves.
I told them that I trusted them enough to know that if something isn’t right they need to come to me and show me so we can be part of a solution (reporting it).
I did not take it away from them because I can’t take them away from the world. I wish I could.
I don’t want my kids to ever be victimized and I believe in their capacity to be empowered through all the experiences that we go through.
It would not be fair for me to take away something they enjoy because of something completely out of their control.
It would have been an open door policy gone wrong.
So we remain watching electronics for 90 minutes a day because we still believe that the world is indeed a beautiful place.
If you are a mom who felt in your heart to take it away, all the power to you! You know more than anyone else what is BEST for your family!
When you are in need of something serious done you look for a specialist in that one area - and that is why specialists cost more - they have invested time and money in their specialty and are there to offer you a result, not a treatment.
My business coach challenged me to become a specialist, an expert, honestly I think she saw the expert in me long before I did and her job was to coach that out of me!
I am a specialist, an expert per se, of helping women in business; challenging them to their next level. I absolutely love working with business women. I have always been a girls' girl. I truly don't get the cattiness, the fake or lack of lack of trust that all of that estrogen can bring. I love supporting other women and being part of their journey.
And if I am being honest here not a lot of men wants a woman telling him what to do, especially when it comes to money (my specialty)! As women in business we have different sets of challenges than our male counterparts. We are raising babies and businesses at the same time. We wear our emotions in our sleeves having a hard time making choices between our feelings and our profits.
I have coached women, men, couples and even children (through their moms) but my rock star clients are all women! They are women in business doing amazing things but somehow feel stuck, financially strapped, craving more from life and from themselves too! They are tired of running in circles and are ready to live a more purposeful life!
So now, I help women in business level up, make and keep more money, and become the powerhouse they are meant to be!
Come join me!
Moms in Biz: Rocking Your Money Game FB group:
Also I crated a little video talking about my new direction:
One of my New Year's resolutions or evolution as I have renamed it is to live more with less! I have found that when I have less I truthfully live more! A few years ago when I had to pack my 4 bedroom house in a 20 x 20 truck I realized how much excess we had as a family. Then moving into a smaller house with less things gave me so much freedom.
Thinking back I was "slaved" to my things. That big house took forever to clean and all of those clothes took forever to wash and the pile of 20 plates and 50 cups did not wash itself or got themselves to the dishwasher/cabinets without some help. So many weekends I spent cleaning and cooking to have a less chaotic week. So many times I said no to people, events, opportunities because I needed to get my stuff in order!
This year my word is "selfish" which is not a bad thing I have learned. This is the year that I will put myself first in all areas of my life. This is the year that my happiness will come from living simply. This year I will de-clutter the house, my business, my circle of friends and most of all my heart.
I have let go of all of the things that no longer serve me to create a "transformational" (Just made up that word) space in and out of my physical space. One of the first things that I did was to say NO and know in my heart that no explanation is necessary. No, I don't feel like it and that is the end of that. I don't have to have a mysterious illness or pretend to be busy. The people worth keeping in my circle understand it very well and the ones that don't I am happy to see them go and grow.
Lots of clients tell me that they want to put their house in order but are emotionally unable to do so. My response is one that I live by: "When our outside is organized the clutter inside of us tend to organize itself". If you feel emotionally unable to organize make yourself do it anyways. Do the flylady method which is 15 minutes at a time (her motto is you can do anything for 15 minutes - check her out at www.flylady.net) or do the KonMari method which is by category (clothes, books, paper, miscellaneous and sentimental - check out her documentary on Netflix - Tidying up with Marie Kondo ) but do it!
You deserve to have the best life -
And the lightest one too!