This is going to be a different kind of encouragement that I usually do.
My message is mostly you can have it all - just not all at the same time (when it comes to money) but as of late I am seeing more and more clients who are living life way below their highest calling because they are trying to be all things to everyone.
As women we are nurturing in nature which can lead to us being lost in our roles as wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter, entrepreneur....and what is the name of the role for ourselves??? ME!!! Being us feels inadequate even selfish. We make time for everyone but when we finally have time for ourselves we don't even know what to do with it.
Many women who are also high achievers go through what is called as cross generation coalition which happens when there is role reversal in our lives. Basically when we try to mother our parents, grandparents or even perform at a higher capacity than the pay scale that we were originally hired for without the reward and once we wake up gasping for air we feel as it though it has become the expectation from us.
The truth of the matter is that this expectation was created by you. You have not taught people how to treat you. Most importantly you have NOT shown them how to treat you which is just a matter of time before you start to feel resentful, lonely, sad, trapped, broke and even sick.
The only way to really change this situation is to stop trying to be superwoman. Being superwoman is not the way to level up. Vulnerability is the only way to reach your next level. Being vulnerable with those around you and having those tough conversations that this is not what you want out of life and stepping into those roles is capping out your emotional and physical bandwidth. Then give it time for everyone to get accustomed to the new version of you and the new version of themselves too!
Stop, say NO (NO is a complete sentence), let go, and get vulnerable!
And if I can help you trade in your cape for self fulfillment - just reach out!
Watch the FB live I did on this here!
Today the kids were taking their sweet time getting ready and somehow even though they woke up late we made it right on time. We got everything that normally takes us one hour done in under 30 minutes - breakfast included.
There have been times where I have stayed so busy and still did not get much done. There have also been times that I was productive yet did not feel busy at all. According to the book 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins (which I love and recommend to all of my clients), this phenomenon is called Parkinson's Law which basically states that "work expands to fill the amount of time given to it" or in my words it will take as long as you allow it to take.
Some of us keep busy to avoid doing the things that we no longer have the motivation to do. Here is the thing; you don't need motivation and somedays you won't have it but getting into the next level in any area of your life does not require motivation - required discipline. Doing the thing you said you were going to do long after you feel like it.
Here are a couple of tips for being productive and efficient instead of busy:
1. Have a hard stop quitting time (this will make you use your time smarter)
2. Have a "NO" work allowed day (for me is Sundays)
3. Manage your distractions (it is impossible to prevent them but managing them is a must)
4. Work out (it is extremely important to get your body moving to get your mind sharp)
5. Sleep hygiene (sleeping better makes your body better which makes your brain better)
6. Putting shoes on (having shoes on makes you 25% more productive according to a few studies on embodied cognition)
7. Create a 10-minute task list (a list of everything that takes you 10 minutes or less and tackle them when you have little breaks in your day)
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know how these tips work out for you!
I love sharing many of my beliefs, thoughts and at times unpopular opinions.