Here are the 7 things I have learned about forgiveness:
The truth about forgiveness is that is sucks. Plain and simple. Someone has hurt you badly enough that can almost feel like they squeezed your heart with their bare hands and stopped squeezing just so you could live and suffer through it.
A few years ago someone I loved hurt me badly. Very badly. Not only did he hurt me but he also hurt other people that I love. And couple of weeks ago I actually forgave him. Not half-ass forgiveness. Like really, really forgave him. It felt so good and so freeing. Just to turn around and have someone else very close to me hurt me again. My conversation with God went something like this "Are you serious? I just graduated this lesson I don't need to practice this on a weekly basis!"
What I learned about forgiveness is that - it's not all about you! As hard it is to believe that person have their own reasoning for doing what they did. It doesn't make sense - and the more you try to make sense of it the more it is going to hurt - but just know that it has nothing to do a with you.
And then again it's ALL ABOUT YOU! Forgiveness is all about the way you deal with it and it has nothing to do with how sorry they are or that they will never do this again. It is about YOU and YOU alone!
The longer you wait the harder it gets! The more time it passes the more we internalize things and we just add more fuel to the fire. Every little thing that happens we will be adding to the first problem and forgiving just becomes harder.
It involves being vulnerable and vulnerability is never fun. It makes us feel weak and exposed but vulnerability is a major place of growth. Growing pains are real in the physical and emotional whelm.
Forgiving is not forgetting the bible talks about forgiving but it doesn't ask us to forget. A lot of people have the misconception that unless they can forget they cannot forgive and that is not true. You might never forget what happened but you can react and regain the power.
Forgiveness makes you let go of all of your expectations. You forgive to just forgive and let go of the chains of your past without any expectation! After all expectations leads to disappointment!
Click here to watch my coffee chat about forgiveness.