Keep the fights clean and ... you know the rest. Truth is our significant other always gets the blunt of it - or we do! We are taught many things but fighting right isn’t one of them. Some of us have bad or even explosive tempers - but if you wouldn’t talk to your boss that way you shouldn’t talk to your spouse that way!
What happens is that some believe that their temper is out of their control - but if we can control it outside the home we can train ourselves to control it with the people we love.
Most marriages don’t fail because of the big things even though lots do - they fail because of the little things happening over and over again.
My professional advice is the same for your marriage or with your money: be proactive instead of reactive.
Deal with the little issues and deal with it once and for all - don’t just put it under the rug and wait for a bad day to bring it out in the open.
Now the inside scoop is that these tips only work when we work it.
But when you do fight - do it right - and here are 7 tips to help you:
-💡Keep your voice and your emotions in check - fight rationally not emotionally
- 💡Have a key word such as “time out” so you either one of you is stepping into ugly territory you can remind each other and take a breather
- 💡Do the mirror trick: imagine a big mirror in front of you while fighting - this little trick tends to keep things clean
- 💡Always argue as your children are there and even if they are show them that people don’t always agree and how to disagree
- 💡Do the pick 3 exercise with the common issues you argue about - pick 3 things in that subject that you will agree on - if it’s money fights you will 1)agree to check with each other above a dollar amount 2) agree that everyone will try to save 3)agree on 1 short term goal if its children agree on 1) bedtime 2) punishments 3) chores and let everything else go
- 💡Try to fight out of the house and specifically out of the bedroom (we tend to keep it civil in public places)
- 💡Allow each other space to be mad and teach each other what to do when those days happen. When we are having bad days take out for dinner and Netflix might just be the recipe for those days not to turn into weeks.
This isn’t easy - let’s not pretend it is - you will forget things and fall off the wagon - just jump back on and try to do better than last time -your relationship is worthy!
If I can help you better your relationships don’t hesitate to reach out 😉